Taming the Tongue - Pt.2: Swearing, Gossip, and Lying

Written By: Darius

Swearing, gossiping, and lying are super common nowadays. For many people swear words make up a lot of their regular vocabulary. Gossip is damaging relationships, causing rumors, and hurting people, and lying is becoming more and more common in relationships, social media, and the world. Swearing, gossiping, and lying can have major psychological, relational, and even professional consequences, and with all of this becoming more and more common, its important that we learn more about these topics, so we can learn to better tame the tongue.

Swearing

The Bible says many times that swearing, or using unwholesome language is sinful, hurtful, and is not how God wants us to talk. Swearing has become integrated into almost everybody's vocabulary, but as Christians we're called to be different, and to only speak wholesome language. 

"No foul language should come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear." (Ephesians 4:29).

This is one of the core verses of this series, and it applies very well to swearing. Swear words have inherently unwholesome meanings and connotations. When we swear we often aren't uplifting or building up others. Even if we are, the words still have those negative meanings. 

"With the tongue we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in God’s likeness. Blessing and cursing come out of the same mouth. My brothers and sisters, these things should not be this way. Does a spring pour out sweet and bitter water from the same opening? Can a fig tree produce olives, my brothers and sisters, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a saltwater spring yield fresh water "(James 3:9-12).

These verses from James give us some analogies about swearing or cursing. It gives analogies about things that don't mix, like a fig tree producing olives, or a saltwater spring producing fresh water. In the same way, James says it's unnatural to swear or curse others with the same tongue we use to worship, pray, and bless God. These are two things that don't belong together.

Even swearing when we're by ourselves, or swearing not directed at others isn't good. Even if it's not directed at another person, your still using unwholesome language, and you're also building a habit of swearing. When you swear a lot, even not towards others, your building that habit of swearing, and making it more likely that you will use those words for negative things later. For example when you get mad you may be more likely to slip up and swear if your regularly swearing, even to yourself.

Gossip

Gossiping is defined as "casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true". It's basically talking about people behind their back about usually negative things. Gossiping usually involves some judgement and can start rumors, and unfounded beliefs about people. Gossiping is very easy to do, and in the moment may seem harmless, but gossiping can cause damage. The rumors started by gossiping can hurt people, and give people false images and beliefs of who others are. Also just in general talking negative about someone is bad. As I'm sure many of you have seen in your lives, gossip can have really bad effects on people, especially in friend groups which can be torn apart by gossiping. This is why it's so important that we don't gossip, because it's against so many of our core values as Christians, and it can easily hurt people.

The Bible talks about gossip, especially in proverbs. Here are the main verses that talk about it:

"A contrary person spreads conflict, and a gossip separates close friends." (Proverbs 16:28).

"A gossip goes around revealing a secret, but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence." (Proverbs 11:13).

"The one who reveals secrets is a constant gossip; avoid someone with a big mouth." (Proverbs 20:19).

These verses emphasize the fact that gossip separates friends. It also talks about we should avoid people who are gossipers, and how they can be untrustworthy. Overall gossip is sort of a combination of different sinful uses of our words. It contains judgement, lying, hate, and just negative speech in general. This is why we should do our best to avoid it, and switch our words to uplift and support, instead of judging and putting down others.

Lying

A lie is basically an intentionally false statement. Lies can take many forms, and some may cause more harm than others. We often use many types of lies without even thinking. Some of the most common examples are half-truths, white lies, and lies by omission.

Half-truths and lies by omission, while not saying something directly false, are still deceptive. They leave out important information, and hide the full truth, which is still a form of lying. White lies are usually seen as harmless lies, or are told to avoid hurting someone's feelings, but it's still not honest.

“Lying lips are detestable to the Lord, but faithful people are his delight.” (Proverbs 12:22)

“Therefore, putting away lying, speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, because we are members of one another.” (Ephesians 4:25)

“Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from deceitful speech.” (Psalm 34:13)

The Bible makes it clear that lying, in any form, is seen as detestable and against God. We see how God values truth a lot throughout scripture. He values truth so much because He is truth. When we lie, even in small or seemingly harmless ways, we go against His nature and design for how we're meant to live.

Lying often roots from deeper issues in the heart. As talked about in part 1, the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart. Sometimes fear causes us to lie. The fear of getting in trouble, being judged, or letting others down can cause us to lie or twist the truth. Other times it's pride, the desire to look better than they really are. Some other things that may cause someone to lie are insecurities, selfishness, or even just habit. No matter the cause or what's behind it, we need to do out best to only speak truth.

Honesty has a lot of power. Telling the truth, even when it's hard, builds trust and shows the integrity we should have in Christ. Being honest can grow our character, and lead us to peace, because we aren't pretending or hiding anything. The truth can create stronger relationships, and reflects God's desires for our words.

What's to come

Up Next: Taming the Tongue - Pt.3: How to Judge