Love Vs. Affirmation

What is Affirmation?

First, I want to talk about what affirmation is. The type of affirmation I'll be talking about is when you are endorsing, encouraging, or approving of certain behavior, beliefs, or desires. Now, affirming people isn't always bad, but it definitely can be. When people start being affirmed of things that are against God's will and are sinful, that's when it becomes bad. Nowadays, especially in certain movements like the LGBTQ movements, affirming people of sinful behavior and actions has become normalized. It's seen as loving to tell people that what they're doing is right, even when what they're doing is wrong. Even among Christians in these groups, it has become normal to affirm these sinful behaviors.

Affirmation is so common because it makes people feel good. Instead of telling people what they're doing is wrong and sinful, they tell them what they want to hear, more specifically, what their flesh and sinful nature wants to hear. Affirmation makes people feel comfortable in their sin, which is exactly what the devil wants. 

I'm gonna focus a lot on how this has been seen in the LGBTQ movement, because this is where it's most prevalent in today's world. This group promotes and normalizes sins like sexual immorality, pride, idolatry, and rejects God's design for gender and relationships. In the world, affirmations regarding these sins have caused a lot of damage. People are told that "love is love" or that we need to be "true to ourselves". Many of these statements are just excuses to affirm people, and make them feel good in their sin, and teachings like this lead many away from the truth of Christ.

Why is affirmation in movements like LGBTQ so bad?

Contrary to what the world says, affirming this behavior is not love, it's actually quite the opposite. It may seem loving at first because it makes people feel good and supported, but since it often leads people to sin or lifestyles against God, it's not loving at all. As Christians, we are called to love others, but not to affirm others in their sin. Think about what Jesus did during His time on earth. Yes, he preached love as the highest commandment, but he also called us to repent and turn away from sin. Jesus loved the people He preached to, but He never told them that it was okay to willingly live in sin. He never affirmed people in their sin, He did the opposite and called them to repentance. This is what we are called to do, to preach the gospel and to call people to turn away from sin.

"'No one, Lord,' she answered. 'Neither do I condemn you,' said Jesus. 'Go, and from now on do not sin anymore.'" (John 8:11).

This is the ending of the story where Jesus forgives the adulteress woman in the book of John. Here is a great example of Jesus loving, but not affirming. He still loves and forgives the adulteress woman, but He also calls her to sin no more! In our journey of trying to become more Christlike, this is what we should do! We should still love others, but to love people like Jesus is to not affirm their sin, because Jesus never affirmed peoples sin.

The right type of affirmation

I want to clarify that not all affirmation is bad. Affirming can be a very loving and Christlike thing to do when what you're affirming is good. Good biblical affirming is rooted in love, truth, and encouragement towards righteousness. Affirming someone that Jesus loves them, reminding them of their value as someone made in God’s image, or encouraging them in their walk with Christ, are some examples of good affirming.

"Each one of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to build him up" (Romans 15:2).

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing" (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

Like these verses talk about, the right type of affirmation is about building people up, helping people see who they truly are in Christ, and calling them towards the life God wants for them.

What is the truly loving thing to do?

Like previously said, the loving thing to do is to call people to repent from sin. As Christians, we shouldn't just affirm or let other people live in their sin. We should try and help correct and guide others. Show them the true love of Jesus and the truth of the Bible, then let the Holy Spirit do the rest. We can tell people what they're doing is wrong, and share the gospel and the love of Jesus. Even if they don't accept it or believe it at first, it's planting the seed so they have something to think about, and it opens the door to let the Holy Spirit work in them, and bring them to the truth of Jesus.

Imagine someone walking toward the edge of a cliff, surrounded by thick fog. They’re smiling, enjoying the view, and are completely unaware that a drop is just steps away, but you can see it. If you love them, you don’t stay silent. You shout, run, and do whatever it takes to stop them. Letting them keep going because “they’re happy” or “it’s their path” isn’t kindness, it’s a quiet failure to love. Staying silent might feel easier, but real love speaks up, even when it’s hard. This is how we should be with others' salvation. Us speaking up to correct and guide someone could be the difference between them being saved or not, which is why it's so important.

"Better an open reprimand than concealed love" (Proverbs 27:5). As this verse says, true love doesn't stay silent, it speaks up and corrects, even when it's hard.

Sometimes, trying to correct people like this will backfire on you. There have been times when I've tried to correct others, and show them the truth of the Bible, but often times people will reject it, and I've lost a few friends because of these kinds of issues. Unfortunately, doing this is seen as hateful by most people, especially regarding things in the LGBTQ movement, but as long as we know that it was the right thing to do, we can live with that. We can't change other people's hearts and desires, all we can do is try to guide them. Many times we just have to let God do the rest. 

“If the world hates you, understand that it hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own. However, because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of it, the world hates you" (John 15:18-19).

Often time the world will hate us for sharing the truth, but as Jesus says in this verse, the world will hate us because it's against Him. Even though we may face hate or persecution, we are called to still do the loving thing, because for many people, you speaking up could be the difference between life and death.